On the basketball court, there’s a famous saying, “Shoot your shot.” Everyone knows what that looks like.
In the personal development arena, coaches use it as a life metaphor to encourage you to:
Do, say or claim something outside your range of abilities so you grow (especially if failure would be embarrassing)
Get after something in life you really want
If that sounds familiar, blame Instagram. Entrepreneurs love to throw this quote against a moody background and plaster it on our timelines because it offers the hope of success. (Translation: fame and money.)
It means you’re confident. Courageous. Consequences be damned.
In life (and in basketball), growth means you go for it, push yourself beyond where you are, and leave it all on the court.
When I was in England this summer catching up with old friends, I started thinking about other arenas where I’ve “taken my shot.”
Those pivotal, unexpected decisions I’ve made, not out of ambition (a loaded word for most women), but to become the person I wanted to be.
Experiences I chose because I needed to get out of a rut or to course correct. The times when I felt like I was in a heavy, dark, fog, and I couldn’t see how things were going to change. But inside I knew I had to do something.
And yeah, those choices were uncomfortable and tense and overwhelming and full of doubt.
But ultimately, they were worth it. And I know you know that because you’ve made those decisions too.
In basketball, you immediately know if you made the shot. But with life-altering changes, it’s a winding path with a messy middle. And you’re never quite sure of the outcome.
News flash: I wish I had a playbook with a few tips about what to expect when you’re in the thick of it.
(I’d share that with you for a small fee!)
Listening to old friends' stories about the twists and turns their lives have taken left me with a few nuggets. So I wanted to drop three of them here to help you take your next shot without pooping your pants or worse, doing nothing at all.
There are times in life when you know you’re exactly where you need to be. The friends you make then are your touchstones. (Could be school, University, your first job, travel…you get the idea.)
Stay connected to those people in any small way. They’ll remind you of the kind of person you wanted to be before you let doubt, disappointment, duty, and all those messages from parents, your kids, and the like really set in. There’s a certain flavor of your spirit (in my case rebellion) that lived in you then. Those people can help you remember qualities that are still inside you, when you need reminding. You just need to reach out.
Growth and success will always involve pushback or backlash from people closest to you. And it will hurt. Especially right after you’ve ‘taken your shot’.
In my 53 years wandering the world, I haven’t found any way around it. As Martha Beck says, “Some people just can’t let go of the old you.” (I wish I’d read Martha at Oxford.) It’s so disappointing when the people closest to you don’t understand who you’re becoming or why you need to grow up in these new ways.
Well, your heart knows.
Trust in the process of your own life and become a person who can keep moving forward despite the backlash. You’ll be stronger, more resilient, and your heart will guide you to the people who love and support this new chapter of you. Pain changes, just like everything else.
We all deserve love and support when we’re growing and changing. (See #1)
Sometimes we throw the baby out with the bathwater.
Which means often the habits that really work for us get tossed out when we’re engrossed in creating something new for ourselves. Don’t beat yourself up about it. You can always bring back those habits (or reach out to those friends) once the dust settles.
The soul needs that lived experience of doing it all backwards to know exactly what that feels like. You need to live the consequences of the choices you make during a time of massive transformation.
It allows you to move on quicker and understand what truly works for you and what doesn’t. Feeling that integrity in your bones is how to let go of all your, “what ifs…” about doing your life differently. It’s a way of shedding those old dreams that don’t fit anymore.
So if you’re at a crossroads in life (or see one in the distance), take some time to get clear and be intentional about who you want to become.
Go all in.
Understand great change takes time.
And take your shot.
A prompt to play with…
Set a timer for 15 minutes and scribble to the prompt: I took my shot...
Think about a time you defied expectations (could be society or family) to follow a path that felt right for you. How did you handle the resistance or criticism from those closest to you? What was the pain and the gain?
I’m rooting for you, and curious to know how this one resonates with you…
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